One of my favorite moments with Tristan is when he grips my fingers in his. There is a simple, honest trust in that grasp. Often, he also stares up at me and locks his gaze with mine as he holds on so tightly. I am reminded in these moments how lucky we both are to be alive to share in this bond. One day, years down the road, he will not want these moments with me. Hopefully, he will still have the trust in me that he now exhibits.
My other favorite trusting moment is in the early hours of the morning. Yes, he has woken me up at 3 am to eat when he should not have woken up for another hour or two. Yes, he often wants to stay up and fidget when he is really fighting off sleep. However, this is when the moment presents itself. I pull him into me and wrap his little body around my chest, his knees resting on my stomach. Generally, as soon as I get him in this position, he looks up at me with doe eyes and then start to shut his lids. He melts into my body and finally falls asleep. I may stay in this position for hours, but he gets a truly restful, trusting sleep, and I often see a smile spread across his face as he dreams. These are the moments I often wish I had a camera to capture the moment, but I know no camera could ever properly convey the experience. It is a beauty shared and understood between Tristan and I. May he always feel this comfortable with me.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Friday, May 27, 2016
Tristan and his oxygen
May 27th, 2016
I know we are far more fortunate than many parents who leave the NICU. All things considered, the fact that Tristan, given his start to this world, was only released on oxygen is lucky. Even so, I look forward to a day in the near future when he will not be forced to deal with his oxygen tube. He is so uncomfortable at times. When I see him trying to pull the nasal prongs out of his nose or rip the whole tube off his face (this happens often), I want to remove the whole system and make him comfortable.
What makes it even more difficult is the fact that his oxygen numbers when he is not hooked up are very high. This really creates skepticism as to whether or not he even needs the oxygen at this point.
For the most part, we no longer keep Tristan on oxygen. That said, knowing we need to stay close to an oxygen tank (if necessary) makes it difficult to get out and explore with Tristan. We have done a couple outings. A few weeks ago, he had his first movie experience.
Overall, it went well. The added oxygen tank makes the process a little trickier than it would otherwise be.
Since the movie experience, he has been to two restaurants. He has also been to starbucks and coffee bean and tea leaf. These small adventures (aside from doctors offices) have been our major outings.
Here's to future outings without the added nuisance of an oxygen tank :-). We are getting closer.
I know we are far more fortunate than many parents who leave the NICU. All things considered, the fact that Tristan, given his start to this world, was only released on oxygen is lucky. Even so, I look forward to a day in the near future when he will not be forced to deal with his oxygen tube. He is so uncomfortable at times. When I see him trying to pull the nasal prongs out of his nose or rip the whole tube off his face (this happens often), I want to remove the whole system and make him comfortable.
What makes it even more difficult is the fact that his oxygen numbers when he is not hooked up are very high. This really creates skepticism as to whether or not he even needs the oxygen at this point.
For the most part, we no longer keep Tristan on oxygen. That said, knowing we need to stay close to an oxygen tank (if necessary) makes it difficult to get out and explore with Tristan. We have done a couple outings. A few weeks ago, he had his first movie experience.
Overall, it went well. The added oxygen tank makes the process a little trickier than it would otherwise be.
Since the movie experience, he has been to two restaurants. He has also been to starbucks and coffee bean and tea leaf. These small adventures (aside from doctors offices) have been our major outings.
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